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*ring* *ring*

"Hi, can I speak to Mr. Cohen?"
"Yes."
"This is James from ADT Security Systems. We're giving away 10 free security systems in your neighborhood. We've given away 8 so far. You're next on our list. Do you already have a security system?"
"Yes."
"What brand do you have?"
"Smith & Wesson."
"Are you happy with that brand?"
(Now I'm nonplussed, because he didn't react.) "Yes."
"Thank you, sir. Have a good day."

Did he not hear me, or does he not know what S&W is? Weird...

Comments

( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
allah_sulu
Jul. 8th, 2004 12:09 am (UTC)
I'm sure you're not the first person to claim to have a S&W security system.
sethcohen
Jul. 8th, 2004 10:15 am (UTC)
It was the total lack of reaction that threw me.
blackpaladin
Jul. 8th, 2004 12:21 am (UTC)
My guess is that he was following a script, so he didn't actually pay much attention to what you were saying, just that words came out of your mouth.
sethcohen
Jul. 8th, 2004 10:16 am (UTC)
That's a good theory.

I have another: it could be bunnies. Or maybe midgets.
ichur72
Jul. 8th, 2004 02:14 pm (UTC)
Er, if you ever come across anything that involves bunnies and midgets, do let me know. Even if it isn't a security system (we're a Glock family, ourselves), my husband would love it. ;)
sethcohen
Jul. 8th, 2004 05:15 pm (UTC)
Not a Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan?
You need to see the episode "Once More, With Feeling". Bunnies and midgets are both of prime importance there...
ichur72
Jul. 8th, 2004 07:50 pm (UTC)
Re: Not a Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan?
Hrm ... haven't watched the show in years and was never a big follower of it. However, my husband will surely be interested in a bunnies-n-midgets episode.
(Deleted comment)
sethcohen
Jul. 8th, 2004 10:16 am (UTC)
Heh. We fooled him! We have nothing to steal! And most of our belongings are cleverly camouflaged in boxes!
bodnej
Jul. 9th, 2004 04:00 pm (UTC)
Or, conversely, in easy-to-steal, ready-packed morsels!
sethcohen
Jul. 9th, 2004 04:47 pm (UTC)
You didn't carry those boxes. They're not exactly easy to carry, let alone steal. Apparently, everything we own is made of depleted uranium.
drmellow
Jul. 8th, 2004 03:23 am (UTC)
Smith & Wesson: The original point-and-click interface.
sethcohen
Jul. 8th, 2004 10:22 am (UTC)
I actually do have a S&W .357, but I'm trying to sell it. I figure the katana's good enough security for people who aren't scared enough by my immensity or my hairiness. I've grown the beard out somewhat...don't think I've caught up to you, but I'm closer than I was before.
(Deleted comment)
sethcohen
Jul. 8th, 2004 05:15 pm (UTC)
Relax, relax
You're safe. I no longer have minions in upstate NY.
(Deleted comment)
sethcohen
Jul. 8th, 2004 10:23 am (UTC)
There wasn't much to say. It was a good setup, but the audience was unreceptive to my humor.
paigedayspring
Jul. 8th, 2004 04:33 am (UTC)
Its the worst when shock humor falls flat.
sethcohen
Jul. 8th, 2004 10:26 am (UTC)
I have other telemarketer stories. The best one was the one my dad did to someone.

*ring* Hello, Mr. Cohen?
Yes...?
This is Sears. We'd like to offer you a credit card...interested?
(They'd called during dinner. Nothing Dad hates more than being interrupted during dinner.)
Maybe...can you tell me about the card?
*telemarketer talks for a while* So, Mr. Cohen, are you interested?
Maybe...you interrupted me during masturbating. Can you talk for a bit longer? I was almost done.

Yes, Dad is evil.
paigedayspring
Jul. 8th, 2004 04:00 pm (UTC)
*Dies*
*Dead Ljers' hubby is amused by story when he wanders past, wondering where his waffles are*
(Deleted comment)
paigedayspring
Jul. 8th, 2004 05:34 pm (UTC)
Thanks!!
You are welcome to it, I animated it myself. Or perhaps you'd like it with a different background color?
gwiii
Jul. 8th, 2004 11:07 am (UTC)
Woohoo!
for some odd reason, tele-marketers have stopped calling me. Weird. Maybe it was because I started to call them back and tracing their phone calls and harrasing them.

I have ISDN service at my house. For those that don't know ISDN is like and Uber-phone line, infact its two uber phone lines. Anyway, I WORK with telephones and I set up my router to be able to trace calls and log them, so when I get particularly boared I look up who called me on what line and I have the correct number, not just what they present to me, all the way back to thier local PBX (inhouse telephone switch) So I can call them back all personal like and tell them to cut it out.

By the way, If you can do it, It really freaks them out when I tell them that I know what company they are really working for (all that information comes through in the ISDN line also and you can't block it with *68). They may say that they are calling for Sears, but they really work for Hanson's Telemarketers. And when you tell them that, they get freaked out and want to know how you know that. I simply tell them that they to can have this information for three simple payments of $29.99....
cellio
Jul. 8th, 2004 03:21 pm (UTC)
I agree with the script theory -- he doesn't care what you say; in fact, he hasn't been trained in security systems anyway, so he doesn't even know who the players are. He's a droid who's making $5/hour to call people and read the words on the paper in front of him. When he's done being James from ADT Security Systems he'll switch to being Bob from Acme Aluminum Siding, where he will completely miss the hint that your brick house does not need siding.
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )