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I'm likely, during the period of time of 5:30pm and 7:30pm, to be trying to get the baby to sleep. I have called my telephone company (they're a full service, family company: La Cosa Nostra Telecommunications) to get a new telephone feature added.

The service? No, not Caller ID. We already have that. No, not Call Block. No, this is a much more active feature: Call Insurance. Any telephone calls received during this two hour period will be traced, and a car full of Mafia thugs will be sent to the caller's house to gently reason with the people who made the call. Tonight's callers got off light: only their fingers and their jaws were broken. This prevents both dialed calls and voice calls. Repeated callers receive the special "Dirtnap" service. Do I need to be more clear?

Comments

paigedayspring
Nov. 11th, 2004 11:57 pm (UTC)
Ok, and exactly how do I sign up for this phone companies' services??
sethcohen
Nov. 12th, 2004 12:51 am (UTC)
You gotta know a guy
I don't do "work", but I have a friend who does. Want me to put you in touch with him?